Stop People Pleasing
For many of us growing up gay, we learned that the safest way to exist was to be “good.” To overlap our identity with being helpful, agreeable, and accommodating. We learned to say “yes” even when everything in our body was screaming “no.”
This habit of people-pleasing follows us into adulthood and wreaks havoc on our fitness goals. It looks like:
- Skipping the gym because a friend wants to grab drinks
- Eating food you don’t want because you don’t want to be “difficult” at dinner
- Letting work encroach on your sleep and recovery time
The Gym is Your Practice Ground
Building a physique requires saying “no” a lot. No to the second slice of cake. No to staying up late scrolling. No to toxic plans that drain your energy.
When you start respecting your own promises to yourself—like showing up for that 6 AM workout—you start building a new identity. One that respects itself.
Action Steps
- Identify one area where you are saying “yes” out of guilt.
- Practice a polite refusal. “Thanks for the invite, but I have a commitment early tomorrow.”
- Notice the feeling. It will feel uncomfortable. That discomfort is weakness leaving the body.